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mewtwowarrior) wrote2010-11-03 09:57 pm
mewtwowarrior) wrote2010-11-03 09:57 pm
Entry tags:
NaNoWriMo: Chapter 5
Just finished level 04/Chapter 5 of my Portal novelization. I feel a lot better about this chapter than the last one, and it turned out to be longer, too. I'm still unsure about a few things on it, though.
Any crit/advice is always welcomed! ^_^
Chapter notes:
04
-Another short level. At this point I'm pretty much just throwing my hands up in the air and giving up on word counts for now, there's no point in it, really. :| I'm trying to not add too much padding to this one.
-Describing where the cube is in the pit seems off.
-Also, am I using the word "pit" too much?
-Taking a guess on how to activate the way to lift things and added a button. Though, this is going to be interesting for when you have to press buttons with it. XD
-I'm not unhappy with this chapter, and it has more words than chapter 4. :D
-Hit the wrong button on spell check once and had to go back and change something. :| Hope I caught everything. XD
-Ahh, seemed like I added some padding, but a new mechanic was introduced-ish, so I needed to talk about it.
The elevator doors opened once it reached the next destination. Unlike the previous rooms, after the doors parted, Chell could see directly to the exit door across the way.
First, however, was a small hallway that opened out to both sides. The leftmost wall in this area was blank. The right side had one of the white boards that flickered to life as she drew near.
As Chell looked at the board, the voice said a few quick words. "Welcome to test chamber four. You're doing quite well." The screen didn't provide any extra information, save that the first two boxes were highlighted, meaning that there was at least one of those cubes somewhere, and it was contained in a cylinder on the ceiling.
She turned her attention back to the main area. The hallway narrowed again, and after several feet it opened into the main part of the chamber. However, at the direct end of the hallway was one of the large red buttons with a floor-to-ceiling glass pane behind it. The left wall next to it had a camera observing her every move.
There was space to the right where Chell could make her way around the glass wall, so she headed there. As she neared the button, she avoided stepping on it, as there was no sense in it, and if the button happened to be possibly harmful, she wanted as little contact as possible with it.
The space to the right ended shortly in a wall that contained an orange, swirling portal. To the left was the rest of the room.
Several feet away was one of the hanging cylindrical cube containers with a cube inside of it. Underneath it, instead of the level floor Chell was standing on, there was a square pit.
When Chell neared the cube storage container, there was a hiss of air as it opened from the bottom, dumping the cube into the hole below as a camera on the wall behind it watched silently.
Chell got closer and looked down into the depression in the floor. It was double the depths she had jumped previously.
The ground of the pit consisted of two parts, the larger grey middle section that was like the floor Chell was standing on, and the fiery edges that made up the border surrounding the center.
The edges of the floor of the pit were the eerie glowing orange like the sides of the gap had been in the room before. There was the square grid covering the glowing space, preventing most things from falling through. She couldn't see any of the silver pillars, but there did seem to be support beams and holding it up.
The orange glow underneath it all was a mystery. She couldn't feel any heat, so it most likely wasn't a fire. Was it just a lighting system that happened to look vaguely creepy? Was there anything underneath, or was it all for show?
It didn't really matter though. She could stand here all day wondering about the mysteries of whatever it was, but that wasn't going to get her anywhere. She turned her attention back to the task at hand.
The cube had landed one of the right corners, luckily, it was closest to the one she was standing at and looking down from. It was mostly on the orange border, only part of it was leaning on the grey middle.
She glanced over at the wall where the orange portal was. If she could place a blue portal under the cube, then it'd pop out there, and she wouldn't have to leap into the pit.
Chell took aim, planning to shoot beside the cube, as she didn't want to put a portal directly on top of it, that wouldn't help at all. Since the portals were oval and longer lengthwise, if she placed it just right, the cube would fall in.
She pulled the trigger and fired, but the blue energy the gun shot flew through the grill and kept going through the orange beyond. Chell frowned, so the portals could only stick to completely solid surfaces. Well, maybe the small part of land the cube was on would be enough?
Chell aimed again, this time to the grey floor behind the cube. The gun placed a lovely portal where she wanted, but only the very end of it seemed to be even touching the cube.
She fired again, adjusting her angle, but the portals didn't cooperate and didn't go into the position she needed them to.
For now, the cube wasn't going anywhere. There was only one thing left to do.
She exhaled slightly and prepared to jump off to retrieve the cube. It was in an inconvenient place, but she was going to obtain it one way or another. Even though the height was taller than she had jumped, she thought that the devices attached to her feet would still protect her.
Chell hopped off the side, falling for several seconds and landing a few feet away from the cube. The springs shook slightly, but they easily absorbed the impact.
She turned around to address the cube. First, however, she fired a blue portal onto the wall directly behind it.
With that done, Chell began to ponder her next move. She couldn't pick up the cube and hold the portal gun at the same time. She needed both her hands to complete either task. She didn't want to put the gun down, that didn't seem like the best option.
She started to investigate the gun further; there was a small button near the vertical bar that was the handhold and the trigger. Well, there wasn't anything else to do but try it. She moved her index finger slightly to press the button.
The three clawlike ends of the gun glowed, creating yellow streams of energy between them, looking much like tiny lightning bolts. For some reason, this created the result she desired, and the cube levitated off of the ground in front of her.
Chell grinned slightly, pleased at this new discovery. This was quite a bit easier than lugging the metal cubes around. Now it'd be a breeze to complete tasks that required the cubes to be moved from one place to the other.
She moved the cube through the portal ahead of her and stepped in after it. It was only a few paces to the button that it needed placed on.
Once she had it in position, Chell pressed the holding control button again and let the cube fall several inches to the red button underneath it.
The button chirped and glowed with activation, and the voice addressed her. "Once again, excellent work.
As part of a required test protocol, we will not monitor the next test chamber. You will be entirely on your own. Good luck."
On her own, huh? So the voice wouldn't offer any advice about what was to happen in the next chamber. No matter, it'd probably be simple enough. Though, Chell doubted that she would be completely unwatched, with all the windows and cameras around, it seemed the point was to observe people as they complete the tests. It wouldn't make any sense to not watch them during any one test. She'd see what it'd be like when she got there.
As she passed by the pit, she glanced up and saw a large window on the left wall. It had a perfect overlook of the main area and the deeper section where the cube had been dumped.
The exit door and elevator wasn't too far now, the cheery orange box with the check of completion was a familiar sight as she passed through the door, into the grill, and onto the elevator.
Chapter Word Count: 1,294
Total Word Count: 6,615
Any crit/advice is always welcomed! ^_^
Chapter notes:
04
-Another short level. At this point I'm pretty much just throwing my hands up in the air and giving up on word counts for now, there's no point in it, really. :| I'm trying to not add too much padding to this one.
-Describing where the cube is in the pit seems off.
-Also, am I using the word "pit" too much?
-Taking a guess on how to activate the way to lift things and added a button. Though, this is going to be interesting for when you have to press buttons with it. XD
-I'm not unhappy with this chapter, and it has more words than chapter 4. :D
-Hit the wrong button on spell check once and had to go back and change something. :| Hope I caught everything. XD
-Ahh, seemed like I added some padding, but a new mechanic was introduced-ish, so I needed to talk about it.
The elevator doors opened once it reached the next destination. Unlike the previous rooms, after the doors parted, Chell could see directly to the exit door across the way.
First, however, was a small hallway that opened out to both sides. The leftmost wall in this area was blank. The right side had one of the white boards that flickered to life as she drew near.
As Chell looked at the board, the voice said a few quick words. "Welcome to test chamber four. You're doing quite well." The screen didn't provide any extra information, save that the first two boxes were highlighted, meaning that there was at least one of those cubes somewhere, and it was contained in a cylinder on the ceiling.
She turned her attention back to the main area. The hallway narrowed again, and after several feet it opened into the main part of the chamber. However, at the direct end of the hallway was one of the large red buttons with a floor-to-ceiling glass pane behind it. The left wall next to it had a camera observing her every move.
There was space to the right where Chell could make her way around the glass wall, so she headed there. As she neared the button, she avoided stepping on it, as there was no sense in it, and if the button happened to be possibly harmful, she wanted as little contact as possible with it.
The space to the right ended shortly in a wall that contained an orange, swirling portal. To the left was the rest of the room.
Several feet away was one of the hanging cylindrical cube containers with a cube inside of it. Underneath it, instead of the level floor Chell was standing on, there was a square pit.
When Chell neared the cube storage container, there was a hiss of air as it opened from the bottom, dumping the cube into the hole below as a camera on the wall behind it watched silently.
Chell got closer and looked down into the depression in the floor. It was double the depths she had jumped previously.
The ground of the pit consisted of two parts, the larger grey middle section that was like the floor Chell was standing on, and the fiery edges that made up the border surrounding the center.
The edges of the floor of the pit were the eerie glowing orange like the sides of the gap had been in the room before. There was the square grid covering the glowing space, preventing most things from falling through. She couldn't see any of the silver pillars, but there did seem to be support beams and holding it up.
The orange glow underneath it all was a mystery. She couldn't feel any heat, so it most likely wasn't a fire. Was it just a lighting system that happened to look vaguely creepy? Was there anything underneath, or was it all for show?
It didn't really matter though. She could stand here all day wondering about the mysteries of whatever it was, but that wasn't going to get her anywhere. She turned her attention back to the task at hand.
The cube had landed one of the right corners, luckily, it was closest to the one she was standing at and looking down from. It was mostly on the orange border, only part of it was leaning on the grey middle.
She glanced over at the wall where the orange portal was. If she could place a blue portal under the cube, then it'd pop out there, and she wouldn't have to leap into the pit.
Chell took aim, planning to shoot beside the cube, as she didn't want to put a portal directly on top of it, that wouldn't help at all. Since the portals were oval and longer lengthwise, if she placed it just right, the cube would fall in.
She pulled the trigger and fired, but the blue energy the gun shot flew through the grill and kept going through the orange beyond. Chell frowned, so the portals could only stick to completely solid surfaces. Well, maybe the small part of land the cube was on would be enough?
Chell aimed again, this time to the grey floor behind the cube. The gun placed a lovely portal where she wanted, but only the very end of it seemed to be even touching the cube.
She fired again, adjusting her angle, but the portals didn't cooperate and didn't go into the position she needed them to.
For now, the cube wasn't going anywhere. There was only one thing left to do.
She exhaled slightly and prepared to jump off to retrieve the cube. It was in an inconvenient place, but she was going to obtain it one way or another. Even though the height was taller than she had jumped, she thought that the devices attached to her feet would still protect her.
Chell hopped off the side, falling for several seconds and landing a few feet away from the cube. The springs shook slightly, but they easily absorbed the impact.
She turned around to address the cube. First, however, she fired a blue portal onto the wall directly behind it.
With that done, Chell began to ponder her next move. She couldn't pick up the cube and hold the portal gun at the same time. She needed both her hands to complete either task. She didn't want to put the gun down, that didn't seem like the best option.
She started to investigate the gun further; there was a small button near the vertical bar that was the handhold and the trigger. Well, there wasn't anything else to do but try it. She moved her index finger slightly to press the button.
The three clawlike ends of the gun glowed, creating yellow streams of energy between them, looking much like tiny lightning bolts. For some reason, this created the result she desired, and the cube levitated off of the ground in front of her.
Chell grinned slightly, pleased at this new discovery. This was quite a bit easier than lugging the metal cubes around. Now it'd be a breeze to complete tasks that required the cubes to be moved from one place to the other.
She moved the cube through the portal ahead of her and stepped in after it. It was only a few paces to the button that it needed placed on.
Once she had it in position, Chell pressed the holding control button again and let the cube fall several inches to the red button underneath it.
The button chirped and glowed with activation, and the voice addressed her. "Once again, excellent work.
As part of a required test protocol, we will not monitor the next test chamber. You will be entirely on your own. Good luck."
On her own, huh? So the voice wouldn't offer any advice about what was to happen in the next chamber. No matter, it'd probably be simple enough. Though, Chell doubted that she would be completely unwatched, with all the windows and cameras around, it seemed the point was to observe people as they complete the tests. It wouldn't make any sense to not watch them during any one test. She'd see what it'd be like when she got there.
As she passed by the pit, she glanced up and saw a large window on the left wall. It had a perfect overlook of the main area and the deeper section where the cube had been dumped.
The exit door and elevator wasn't too far now, the cheery orange box with the check of completion was a familiar sight as she passed through the door, into the grill, and onto the elevator.
Chapter Word Count: 1,294
Total Word Count: 6,615
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